During the days leading up to July 2020 I read an inspirational quote; “July is going to be a big month for you.” It proceeded to list many good things that would happen to me during that time. This kind of post I usually take about seriously as fortune cookie predictions but with nothing to do that Fourth of July as the world locked down I decided to believe what it said. Now in my mind some great feat was going to be accomplished merely due to the fact that the month changed from June to July. Most of the country was rethinking their lives and I used this as my push to get into a new line of work and refocus my goals. While I wanted to advance my education in website design I wasn’t content in only accomplishing that goal. It could not have justified the amount of time and work that went into it. From extensive writing and re-writing, photo-editing, scanning, video-editing, research, all those extra parts expanded the work to taking two years. I could have found a faster way to make a website but this hurried method wouldn’t have made it meaningful to me.
The College I was going to offered a one year certification program but by going that route I would end up with only the web-design knowledge and not the personal touch I was able to compile here. That would have been so much faster but I am very glad I didn’t use my time like that. There are all kinds of work I have done over the years where no one would have said all my labor was connecting with them in any way. Now People message me and say they connect with my memories. That is how these days I measure success. For me to say yeah, I’ve got a little back on track again, I’m focused on this moment and doing what is the most significant thing for me right now at this point in my life. I believe you need to put focus in an area even if you feel the present conditions are not working as well as they could be. If I don’t 100% know how I’m going to get paid for work, just vague ideas, or what my five year plan will be or if I will back to college or start a business with other creatives or move or travel more or, or, or…
You just have to live for now. So many adults just give up at some point and settle for the way things are. Perhaps this is the way we are conditioned from youth. We think about the future while the present passes us by. On the next page I consider the schools I went to as a kid, not just what they were like at the time but re-examine them with a fresh perspective that might have passed me by. If I take in how the early education fits amoug what I am trying to learn today this will clarify what I should be doing today.
Worn from pressure of school stress7:30am Dad drops me out front.Lets trade places and each can assessclass is fun work carries the brunt.
Drudged in the doors the hours left aheadindignities and the need to prove myselfthis weighed heavily on my mind instead.How is it now I put those burdens on the shelf?
Today they’d seem such a pleasure to explore, my experience leads freedom unencumbered.Those responsibilities no longer a chore.The good, I believe, would be outnumbered.